You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My dick has a subreddit
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
