I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize