I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
