He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
