I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize