I want to stick my p in your. b.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
