he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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