He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
