BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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