Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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