Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
