I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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