Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
