I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
