Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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