apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there's paper in my vomit.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
