considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
