Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
