Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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