what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dicks are not precious.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize