I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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