Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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