i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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