Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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