Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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