A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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