I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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