what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You can't motorboat a personality
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
