They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
