Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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