So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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