you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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