she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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