I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Never joke about your clitoris.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
