Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it glows. i had to have it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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