his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize