you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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