girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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