Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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