And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
