wrigley field is MILF paradise
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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