No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E