You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
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my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
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Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown