You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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