i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
