I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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