Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize