Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
