I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
