Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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