I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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