I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
