If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
