I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
