So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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