Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
