hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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