I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
